Writing-Year567-Mon

Forums 2022 Autumn Courses Writing-Year567-Mon

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    • #26333
      VMWEdu
      Keymaster
    • #26398
      Beth
      Participant

      Summary for Lesson 1

      In this week’s lesson we looked at the concept of genre, and how we can used genre as a lens through which to think about and play around with literary conventions in our writing. The powerpoint with all of the resources is attached below and includes the titles that the homework stories should be written on. The powerpoint contains all the work we completed, including lots of ideas on the role of genre in writing, how to use genre to create unique and interesting literary techniques, how to analyse genre using an excerpt from Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein– thinking about how literature rarely falls solely into one genre- and on how to use genre and literary techniques in the class’s own writing. The class then used the theory and framework of genre to create brilliant narratives and to shape their language into the conventions of different styles of writing; they plotted stories based upon titles and then translated this into the visual medium of cover design. The class worked beautifully today, everyone was hugely creative and enthusiastic in their contributions and I absolutely loved the genre based literary techniques the students wrote. Fantastic work everyone- really well done! I look forward to reading all your stories & will see you next week for our deep dive into the genre of suspense  🙂

      Genre video link: https://liberalarts.oregonstate.edu/wlf/what-genre

      Homework

      Homework

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      • #26643
        Lynn
        Participant

        Hi Beth,

        This is my work in the attachment and sorry that I’m quite late.

        Many thanks,

        Lynn

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    • #26432

      Hi Beth,

      Here is the homework I have completed below, I choose the topic “Sleeping”.

      Thank you for the wonderful lesson,

      Jessie

    • #26433

      Hi Beth,

      Here is the homework I have completed below, I choose the topic “Sleeping”.

      Thank you for the wonderful lesson.

      Jessie 🙂

    • #26443
      Claire
      Participant

      Hi Beth

      Here is my homework.

      Many thanks

      Claire

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      • #26484
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Claire,
        Beautiful work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #26445
      Melody
      Participant

      hello Beth

      here is my homework

      thank you

      Melody

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      • #26498
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Melody,
        Exciting work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #26451
      Yutong
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      here is my homework.

      Thank you for the great lesson,

      Yutong

    • #26452
      Yutong
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      here is my homework with attachment.

      Thank you for the great lesson,

      Yutong

    • #26460

      Hi Beth,

      Sorry for the multiple previous posts, the attachments didn’t come up.

      Here I’ve attached a link below.

      https://docs.google.com/document/d/1LztUZSD-jA0ipp5f8QesiGYJPmjpl213FEUmWAZOCNA/edit

      Jessie

    • #26461
      Jeff
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      Here’s my homework (The choice)

      Jeff

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      • #26500
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Jeff,
        Delightful work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #26463
      Yutong
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      here is my homework with attachment. Hope this time works.

      Thank you for the great lesson,

      Yutong

    • #26469
      Yutong
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      Here is my homework. I tried several times but not successful to put an attachment. Hope this time works.

      Thank you for the great lesson,

      Yutong

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      • #26502
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Yutong,
        I’m glad your work finally posted!
        Stunning work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #26486

      let’s try this time:)

    • #26487

      let’s try another time:)

    • #26488

      Sleeping

      Was she, just was she … dead? Screams and piercing shrieks filled the house of the Christobel family. Pale (whiter than one could bleach), family members scurried around the house, fear attacking them, gnawing at their stomachs and fluttering as if they had swallowed a butterfly, recounting what the doctor had said; “The young girl seems motionless, her breathing isn’t that loud as well!”

      Fear choked dry throats, fear’s murderous hands squezed all happiness into the faraway realms of foreign places. Pleasant memories were now cast away, nightmares now forming.

      A simple, definitely not harmful check up had now changed into a catastrophe, a great loss of a n individual life. What caused it? How did it happen? Was it just a shocking faint?

      Faces were expressionless;  they were vacant. Anxiety was like an electric shock, pumping shivering waves tearing through, shuddering breaths tried to dampen the sense of impending doom. Blood was pumping between the thin tubes of veins, brains quickened and all senses were alert.

      Even passer-bys could sense panic and worry climbing up walls like ivy, screaming and apprehensive whispers all to be heard, no laughter or any slight sense of happiness like any other day. Even the street birds didn’t dare to perch on the roof of the building, it was a melancholy, solemn day which didn’t need to be interrupted by the merry, melodic hums from birds.

      Outside the door of Alice Christabel’s room, people were sobbing, crying, praying for mercy for their young daughter (Alice) who had died. Gripping pain in many hearts was reflected in her haunted expression, sadness filling hearts, melancholy wild grief building, constructing -taking over- until they could only break down in an agony of sorrow weeping.

      Only the sight of various individuals biting their lips to the stem the tears that welled up in their eyes and threatened to spill in a down-pouring manner was visible. All was quiet except the miserable sniffing of grief and depression. Everything was despondent…or was it?

      Coming from inside Alice’s bedroom, the faint sound of footsteps could be heard. The sound of the door to the bathroom was disturbing. CREAK! Then, as if someone had opened a window, a great howling of wind could be heard, more powerful than ever. Was it a thief? Was someone kidnapping Alice? Of course no one had thought of this, the whole family was too busy weeping over their great loss. This time, a louder creak was heard followed by a yawn. Slowly wandering out of the room, a figure asked, “Can I please get a drink?”

      Everyone stopped immediately. It couldn’t be Alice, it just couldn’t be possible. Everyone just stared wide open, his eyes unable to shut, it was like the whole world was breaking and crumbling apart around him… he didn’t even shake. Just there everyone was in total paralysis without realising what will happen after that.

      “In the end, we all found out that she fell asleep, and that is the story,” said Arabella Christobel to her friends and just that second, the whistle blew.

      • #26504
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Jessie,
        Glad you finally got your work posted okay!
        Terrific work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #26552
      Angelikelly
      Participant

      Daniel Hu, Sleeping. Thank you!

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      • #26566
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Daniel,
        Great work this week , I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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        • #26582
          Angelikelly
          Participant

          Thank you so much for such detailed marking comments. Daniel benefited from your feedback. Have a lovely weekend, and Daniel is looking forward to seeing you at the next lesson.

          • #26634
            Beth
            Participant

            No worries at all- I am so glad Daniel was helped by his feedback and look forward to the next lesson too 🙂

    • #26635
      Beth
      Participant

      Summary for Lesson 2

      In today’s lesson, we focused on the genres of mystery and suspense. We began by thinking about the word ‘conventions’ and how it relates to genre, and the class then brainstormed several conventions of mystery. We studied a classic example of a suspenseful short-story, Roald Dahl’s Lamb to the Slaughter, and the class identified brilliantly the features that fulfilled the conventions of suspense and those that subverted them. They then analysed this story for how well it embodied the central ingredients of the genre. We looked at using literary techniques to create tension and suspense, with the students writing outstanding examples of their own suspense-inspired literary techniques, imagining up examples of foreshadowing, flashback, cliff-hangers and dramatic irony that played beautifully into the genre of suspense. Finally, they wrote story-starters that played around with the techniques and convention of the genre, demonstrating their ability to pull the reader into a story. Fantastic and creative work today class, I was really impressed by your ideas and writing throughout! Well done 🙂

      Lamb to the Slaughter video summary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LA17kEdzoE

      Lamb to the Slaughter full story if you’d like to read it!: https://lewebpedagogique.com/anglais/wpcontent/blogs.dir/16/files/lamb-to-the-slaughter.pdf

      Homework

      Homewok

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      • #26704
        Jeff
        Participant

        Hi Beth,

        Here’s my writing for lesson 2.

        Jeff

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        • #26751
          Beth
          Participant

          Hi Jeff,
          Spooky work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #26699

      Hi Beth,

      Here is my writing. I’ve tried to use red-herrings and other techniques.

      Thank you for the wonderful lesson,

      Jessie

       

       

      • #26700

        It was dark in Nightshade manor. Very dark. Its windows were cracked, as empty as a dead man’s eyes. Blood was dripping constantly from dark window sills just like water dripping from a leaky hole in a wall. Non-stop. No evidence here. The axe boy was really trying to hide pieces of evidence. What about inside? Did he have plans or malicious schemes hidden inside his office?

        The study was mostly filled with rows of books. I peered around. Was anything hidden in here? Would this give any information from the guilty suspect, his plan, interests even? From the back of the books, I could tell that the boy read about evidence, biographies of bandits and murderer, mystery stories, law and authorites, and such things. It totally fitted. I couldn’t believe that this case would be cracked in a blink of an eye. I started daydreaming. My most dreamed title, chief detective, would soon be me. BANG! What was that? In a corner, was a little table of papers with a desk lamp with a book on the floor.

        It had to be him.

        MEOW! I turned around. Tabby and grey, it was a kitten. I couldn’t leave it here in this dark, frightful place. It would eat it alive. I went outside with the furrball cradling in my arms. Something caught my eye. Footprints. Pawprints. It was from the kitten who had gotten muddy paws. Would the trail guide him back to the castle? Suddenly, it jumped out of my hands and started to lower itself down, eating something. Cat food… which had a note near it. It must have been left there a few days ago as the rain from last night had smudged the ink slightly. It said…

        “ Princess Scarlet, here is the food for Tabby. Come back quickly to the palace, dinner is waiting for a young lady and so is a bath to wash your short, filthy hair.

        Clarissa-the cook”  

        It couldn’t be. A princess! I couldn’t be. It just…just didn’t seem right. I thought the short curly hair that the witness saw was from the boy who was walking in the palace grounds! The inner voice of me made me think that being chief detective would be harder than I thought. I couldn’t let the Secret Agency down. They had sent me, me especially, to crack this case.

        In the end, I decided that I should follow those pawprints so that it would show the journey of the pet but to its starting point. I put my black onesie to blend into the darkness and then started to track down the prints as if I was capturing a cruel criminal.

        After what seemed like various moons of tension, the series of unfortunate events was coming to an end. The footprints had stopped. Not in front of a castle but a small cottage. I stepped closer to the ivy-invaded abode and paused. What would I do? Step in and report? See if the person is guilty… or wait for tomorrow?

        As the lights from inside the cottage were turned on, I decided to turn into a spy and see what was going on. As there were no curtains blocking the view like heads at a movie theatre, I could see clearly what was happening. A young girl, who looked like a princess, was wearing a silk pink dress, skipping merrily as she stirred batter in her mixing bowl. Then, underneath the kitchen table was an axe. An axe. She must be the suspect. But a princess?

        If I report her, I might lose my job. I might be arrested. I couldn’t do anything severe. I just needed to spy on her for the next few days, then judge if she was guilty.

        • #26754
          Beth
          Participant

          Hi Jessie,
          Beautiful work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #26701
      Angelikelly
      Participant

      It happened the morning I was gone, the morning everything changed, the morning of the murder. I was away at work when news arrived that someone had killed my friend. Devastated, I asked my maneger to let me have the day off and investigate the crime. It didn’t seem possible, but my eyes comfirmed it was real when I walked into the room and saw the motionless body lying on the floor in a pool of red crimson blood.
      <p style=”text-align: left;”>My world seemed to shrink away, and I wanted to curl up into a tiny ball and cry. Then it occured to me, why would anyone want to murder my friend? He was not famous or anything, in fact, he never interacted with people except me. Curious I went through his things and saw a doccument labelled: TOP SECRET, I ripped it open and saw various diagrams of war fleets and cannons. Now that I saw this, I realised my friend was actually the country’s machine man.</p>
       

    • #26702
      Angelikelly
      Participant

      It happened the morning I was gone, the morning everything changed, the morning of the murder. I was away at work when news arrived that someone had killed my friend. Devastated, I asked my maneger to let me have the day off and investigate the crime. It didn’t seem possible, but my eyes comfirmed it was real when I walked into the room and saw the motionless body lying on the floor in a pool of red crimson blood.

      My world seemed to shrink away, and I wanted to curl up into a tiny ball and cry. Then it occured to me, why would anyone want to murder my friend? He was not famous or anything, in fact, he never interacted with people except me. Curious I went through his things and saw a doccument labelled: TOP SECRET, I ripped it open and saw various diagrams of war fleets and cannons. Now that I saw this, I realised my friend was actually the country’s machine man.

       

    • #26703
      Angelikelly
      Participant

      Sorry it didn’t work.

       

    • #26706
      Angelikelly
      Participant

      Please see his 2nd creative writing in attachment

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      • #26756
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Daniel,
        Brilliant work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #26708
      Melody
      Participant

      Hi Beth

      Thank you for the lesson.

      Here is my work.

       

      Melody

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      • #26761
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Melody,
        You’re welcome!
        Great work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #26717
      Claire
      Participant

      Dear Beth

      Here is my 2nd homework. Hope it is not too late.

      Many thanks

      Claire

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      • #26763
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Claire,
        Brilliant work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #26732
      Yutong
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      here is my homework. Thank you for the great lesson,

      Yutong

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      • #26766
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Yutong,
        You’re very welcome!
        Fabulous work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #26753
      Isabella
      Participant

      Sorry again for the lateness Beth

       

      It was friday the thirteenth when it all happened. Liam Thomson (the head of money) was sitting in his office at 2:25, waiting for his messenger to arrive. Around 20 minutes later, a perculiar looking woman that he had never seen before came in.

      “Your messenger, Jessica is ill today. She told me to tell you there had been a mix up. Your computer has been delivered to floor -5 room 26 printing.” she said. She spoke in such a deadly voice it seemed  like the whole world froze.

      “Jessica can’t be ill. I just saw him yesterday and he seemed fine,” mummered Liam.

       

      At that moment, Jessica came in. She looked like she had just wrestled a lion in a tiny pink dress.

      “Jake, Max, Simon and Sienna from compartment A have disappeared. People have been told to look out for unusual people in the offices,” Jessica said, panting. She paused.

      “Who is she?” she said. Looking at the woman who said she was ill.

      As quick as lightning, the woman threw an axe at Liam, killing him and then shoved another axe into Jessica’s hands. Without hesitation, she jumped out the window to escape.

      • #26903
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Isabella,
        Don’t worry!
        Brilliant work, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #26774
      Beth
      Participant

      Summary for Lesson 3

      In our lesson today we focused on descriptive writing, thinking about its three fundamental building blocks: word choice, literary techniques and sensory language. The PowerPoint attached contains some really important and helpful links (Slide 14) such as the online thesaurus and vocab lists, the inspiration for the gorgeous work the class did on up-levelling their vocab to an even more vivid and sophisticated level, and finally our discussions on figurative language, creating atmosphere, avoiding cliche and using unique and original literary techniques to grab the reader’s attention. The vocab and language being used in today’s class was outstanding, and the unique and unusual examples of figurative language the students came up with were really beautiful. They demonstrated a very adept grasp of the concept of cliches and why they are important to avoid in writing, along with a keen sense of considering the connotations of words chosen in a descriptive passage. They also took on board the power of metaphors brilliantly and came up with some subsequent examples that were brilliant. Fab work everyone- you used the concepts we studied today- such as up-levelling- really well and came up with some excellent examples of each building block we touched on. Keep up the amazing job and see you next week 🙂

      Video on descriptive writing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSoRzTtwgP4&t=3s

      Video about avoiding cliché to watch for homework: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Wrq6AnYuxI&feature=youtu.be

      Homework

      Homework

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      • #26879
        Jeff
        Participant

        Hi Beth,

        This is my writing for lesson 3.

        Jeff

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        • #26905
          Beth
          Participant

          Hi Jeff,
          Amazing work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #26870

      Hi Beth,

      Here is my writing. I’ve tried to write the description through a story.

      See you next lesson,

      Jessie

      • #26871

        Alone. I was alone. Not the best emotion to feel when you know you are walking into grave danger. Even the mysterious mist knew that, it loomed the mountains, overseeing them like a keeper. The tranquil valley was swaddled in a veil of mist. The deathly vapour wrapped nature by using its tentacles to surround everything. It drifted and ghosted like a phantom, gilded and dangled. It clung -like a sloth on a tree- onto everything it could. Nothing was spared.

        The serrated mountains loomed in the distance. They were flour-white. Just as I approached, snow went trundling down one of the nearby mountains. It slid over the edge and then went crashing into the lush grounds below. The silence that followed was spine chilling, breath-taking (not in a good way). It froze my thoughts to think that the path may lead me into climbing in those conditions tomorrow.

        On both sides, the trees in the airy atmosphere were dancing ladies, each in evergreen dresses, more fabulous than any designer can produce. They move, with the leader as the wind, in flawless timing with one another, swaying to and fro. They are the only delightful sight of this late spring morning and I wonder how many green plants my eyes are witnessing. As branches stretch up toward the dim light which is forming in between concealing clouds, I stretch my arms up as well and breathe in.

        Paving a way for my feet which leads the rest of my body, the road to nowhere was on-going, never-stopping. In the distance, I could eye the path, the same exact path just shrinking and shrinking. It was a road to nowhere. On both sides, white paint tracks were a barrier, preventing invading trees from taking over the road. As I kicked a pebble, an echo drummed in my ears as it fell down into the forest grounds of trees. I wonder why the road was created. No cars passed  the area where the wild was an emperor. No one passed the area where the mountains were in reach. No one passed the area where oxygen wasn’t too dependable. Then I thought to myself. Was this area dangerous, hazardous even? Why was my life so unlucky, first running away, now on a pathway to unescapable peril. What next?

         

        • #26907
          Beth
          Participant

          Hi Jessie,
          Spectacular work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #26874
      Isabella
      Participant

      Here is my homework Beth

      See you next lesson

      It was a frosty winter morning. Frost dangled in the atmosphere like it was a hopeless fly caught in a spider’s web and fog billowed out of thin air. Making it nearly impossible to see where I was going. I trotted down the road with shivers down my spine. The thought that I was all alone traveling in the middle of nowhere besieged me.

      The bleak path below my feet seemed to roll up; like I was on the cold, colourless tongue of a ravenous chameleon. I could just make out the little path I was on was endless. It twisted and turned before disappearing over the gargantuan mountain. Looks like it would be just me alone for another couple of hours, maybe even days.

      The dew-covered evergreen grass beside me gently swayed. Manufacturing me to assume this place is haunted. The trees stood lanky, making me nanoscopic. They danced and laughed in unison, swaying to and fro. The mountainous leaves were so high up I could barely make out their flamboyant, almost luminous bright green leaves. Same with the mountains. So big and tall, yet I could not see them. What? Another strange thing was that there were no cars. Even if they were, I could at least hear them. What kind of strange place am I?

       

       

       

      • #26909
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Isabella,
        Dazzling work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #26877
      Claire
      Participant

      Hi Beth

      Here is my 3rd writing homework.

      Many thanks

      Claire

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      • #26911
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Claire,
        Brilliant work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #26883
      Melody
      Participant

      Hi Beth

      Thank you for the amazing lesson.😁

      Here is my homework

      ✍🏻. 🎃

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      • #26913
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Melody,
        You’re very welcome!
        Great work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #26892
      Yutong
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      here is my homework. Thank you for the great lessons,

      Yutong

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      • #26915
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Yutong,
        You’re welcome, I’m glad you’re enjoying them!
        Nice work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #26917
      Angelikelly
      Participant

      Daniel Hu Creative Writing. Apologise that Daniel finished writing on Wednesday, I just remembered to upload here.

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      • #27095
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi,
        No worries at all!
        Amazing work, I’ve attached Daniel’s feedback below 🙂

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    • #26935
      Beth
      Participant

      Summary for Lesson 4

      In today’s lesson we looked one of the three main categories of literature: poetry. This lesson was designed to introduce the class to the conventions, forms and peculiarities of the genre of poetry, thinking about what makes a poem a poem and why. We spoke about the ways in which poems use word sound, rhythm and rhyme to communicate layers of meaning, thinking about the quotation “poetry is an exercise in concision”. The class analysed this wonderfully, thinking deeply about questions such as what counts as poetry, about how to define what makes a poem, and about the role of figurative language, imagery and emotion in poetic writing. The class looked at the six categories of poetic analysis (subject, theme, tone, form, imagery and feeling), and thought about how writing in Shakespearean blank verse, or ‘iambic pentameter’, changes the feeling of a poem. They came up with some fantastic examples of poetry ideas based off a Pie Corbett poem and were engaged and enthusiastic throughout. Well done class- keep up the great work and beautiful poetic writing! 🙂

      What makes a poem a poem video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JwhouCNq-Fc

      Poetic pattern and rhythm video (give this a watch if you can!): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URuMb15CWJs

      Homework

      Homework

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      • #27066
        Jeff
        Participant

        Hi Beth,

        This is my writing for lesson 4.

        Jeff

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        • #27097
          Beth
          Participant

          Hi Jeff,
          Beautiful work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #27052
      Melody
      Participant

      Hi Beth

      Here is my writing

      Thank you for the lesson

      Melody

       

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      • #27099
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Melody,
        You’re so welcome!
        Stellar work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #27060

      Hi Beth,

      Thank you for the informative lesson on poetry! Below is my poem which I have written.

      See you next lesson,

      Jessie

      • #27061

        Flower Field

        Gently swaying together in the breeze,

        The flower field is a close family.

        Sight of fluorescent blooms and sage green trees,

        The sight of petals dancing happily.

        Sprouting flowers are a feast to the eye,

        while sunlight plays across many petals.

        Alluring shades sense solemn good-byes,

        Sending many multi-coloured showers. 

        While joy and happiness dance in the light,

        sorrow fades into the nurturing sun.

        Lines and lines of flowers are very bright.

        All those nervous worries turn into none.

        Just for a few days do nice flowers live,

        But immense is the hope that they bring.

         

         

         

         

         

        • #27062

          Sorry, the paragraphing didn’t show!

          • #27063

            Flower Field

            Gently swaying together in the breeze,

            The flower field is a close family.

            Sight of fluorescent blooms and sage green trees,

            The sight of petals dancing happily.

             

            Sprouting flowers is a feast to the eye,

            sunlight plays across the field of flowers.

            Alluring shades sense solemn good-byes,

            Sending many multi-coloured showers.

             

            While joy and happiness dance in the light,

            sorrow fades into the nurturing sun.

            Lines and lines of flowers are very bright.

            All those nervous worries turn into none.

             

            Just for a few days do nice flowers live,

            But immense is the hope that they bring.

             

             

             

             

             

            • #27101
              Beth
              Participant

              Hi Jessie,
              Dazzling work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

              Attachments:
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    • #27074
      Yutong
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      here is my homework. Have a great weekend,

      Yutong

      Attachments:
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      • #27109
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Yutong,
        Lovely work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #27084
      Claire
      Participant

      Dear Miss Beth

      Here is my  4th homework. Thanks for the nice teaching.

      Many thanks

      Claire

       

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      • #27111
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Claire,
        Superb work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #27105
      Angelikelly
      Participant

      <p style=”text-align: center;”>The sky clouded.</p>
      <p style=”text-align: center;”>Clouds fly by ever changing,</p>
      <p style=”text-align: center;”>displaying images and pictures.</p>
      <p style=”text-align: center;”>The sky is everywhere:</p>
      <p style=”text-align: center;”>up high in the mountains,</p>
      <p style=”text-align: center;”>stretching out to the seas.</p>
      <p style=”text-align: center;”>Never will it leave me.</p>
      <p style=”text-align: center;”>It has feelings like everyone.</p>
      <p style=”text-align: center;”>Expressing itself through weather,</p>
      <p style=”text-align: center;”>sad and angry when it is spitting rain,</p>
      <p style=”text-align: center;”>warm and friendly when it is shining.</p>
      <p style=”text-align: center;”>Always changing, never the same.</p>

    • #27106
      Angelikelly
      Participant

      The Sky Clouded

      Clouds fly by ever changing,

      displaying images and pictures.

      The sky is everywhere:

      up high in the mountains,

      stretching out to the seas.

      Never will it leave me.

      It has feelings like everyone.

      Expressing itself through weather,

      sad and angry when it is spitting rain,

      warm and friendly when it is shining.

      Always changing, never the same.

      • #27274
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Daniel,
        Brilliant work, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

        Attachments:
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    • #27153
      Beth
      Participant

      Summary for Lesson 5

      In our lesson today we focused on historical writing, thinking about how to translate historical sources and stimuli into something literary. The PowerPoint with all of the resources is attached, which should be used to help write the pieces assigned for homework. We considered how to conjure up images of the past and create whole different, and
      unfamiliar worlds against the backdrop of the Second World War. We looked at inferring various pieces of information based on source material, other pieces of historical writing, video footage and our background knowledge of history, and considered how to put ourselves in the shoes of people from the past and write descriptively about it. Everyone worked brilliantly today, I thought the way they were able to extract artistic vision from the factual reality of history books was really impressive.  I really enjoyed hearing all their creative and well-written ideas for historical pieces and the way this would influence their characterisation. Well done everyone- see you next week! 🙂

      Here is the video footage of the V.E. day celebrations: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8YDe_Iejwc

      Homework

      Homewrok

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      • #27243
        Jeff
        Participant

        Hi Beth,

        This is my writing for lesson 5.

        Jeff

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        • #27276
          Beth
          Participant

          Hi Jeff,
          Creative work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #27233
      Melody
      Participant

      Hi Beth

       

      Here is my writing

       

      From melody

       

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      • #27278
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Melody,
        Delightful work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #27237
      Yutong
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      here is my homework. Thank you for the lesson. I really enjoyed it,

      Yutong

      Attachments:
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      • #27280
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Yutong,
        Lovely work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #27239

      Dear Beth,

      Here is my diary entry of a Greek warrior from Athens who is going to fight their enemies (Sparta).

      Thank you for the wonderful lesson,

      Jessie

      • #27240

        Dear Diary,

        The time has come for me to face my fears, my fate and fight. Sitting here alone tonight, in the lurking shadows of the darkness, I contemplate on the possibilities of death and victory tomorrow. My chances of survival are slim. As a warrior of Athens I must do my best, even if it kills me.

        It has been weeks now -months even. Every day, intense training (which I think is over the top) has been scheduled for every single second of the day. No matter how overwhelmed we are with fatigue, the generals force us all out of bed and each day starts the same. On and on and on. Stamina is first tested. Even though the scorching sun plays across the battlefield, we are forced to run, sprint with heavy armour and swords until our bodies are drenched with sweat and too desperate to stop. Then we spar. Swords are held out in front of us, shiny and sleek after polishing it every previous night. As we fight (sometimes with wooden swords) our muscles ache and our minds break with every passing hour.

        With tomorrow as our day, I will be riding on horseback, Adrian on Spirit. As the horn blows, war officially declared against our worst enemy Sparta, I do not know what will become of me. Would I be one-eyed like old Jason or one legged like the old man down the road at home?

        Talking of home, I wonder how Mother is doing. I wonder how my sister Clio is doing. Are they still working their way out of poverty? Still selling old clay pots? I could remember the clay pots, all looked one-of-a-kind; irreplaceable. Intricate carvings were made, sometimes names of the powerful gods, Athena, Zeus of Poseidon. As I really hope the two are doing fine with the needlework, I dream of Clio being the best weaver in Athens, just hope jealousy doesn’t get the best of her just like it did to Arachane.

        As I see the sun slightly appearing over the horizon, here I finish my dear recount to you which may be the last.

        Wish me luck from the gods,

        Belen

         

         

        • #27284
          Beth
          Participant

          Hi Jessie,
          Stunning work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #27247
      Isabella
      Participant

      Dear Diary,

      Sad news. I just got informed by the Roman government that I will be moving to the center of Londinium as I am now legally a Roman soldier. It has been a big shock for the whole of my family. I will be moving out tomorrow.

      Life will be a lot different from now on. I’m really nervous. The punishments are unimaginably crucial. I am NOT looking forward to it at all (well maybe some wine). Let alone, fighting with some of the best warriors in the world. There is a tiny chance of survival. All I can do is pray to Mars and hope he can protect me.

      Also, pretty much all of the other roman soldiers love to watch ‘mini wars’ they call them. So that probably means I have to watch gladiators fight. Blood, death. fight for life of death. Or, watch other animals fight each other. I know it sounds a little bit strange but I  don’t like watching people fight and die. I also heard about some other things I could do in my spare time that sounded more pleasing than that. Go to the theatre and watch a show, or go chariot racing which actually sounds like something I would quite enjoy.

      Overall, I am very melancholy about moving. I wouldn’t see my family for another couple of years. Maybe never again. At least I will have company (kind of). Got to pack now, like I said, I’m moving tomorrow. Write to you soon. Over and out

      Please wish me luck for the next few years,

      Domitia

       

      • #27286
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Isabella,
        Superb work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #27248
      Claire
      Participant

      Dear Beth

      Sorry for the late submission. Here is my homework.

      Many thanks

      Claire

      • #27249
        Claire
        Participant

        Attachment

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        • #27288
          Beth
          Participant

          Hi Claire,
          No worries at all!
          Fabulous work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

          Attachments:
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    • #27306
      Beth
      Participant

      Summary for Lesson 6

      In today’s lesson we looked at speech writing, thinking about how speeches use both persuasive and poetic techniques and using the prompt of Martin Luther King’s I Have a Dream speech, one of the most influential and well-written speeches in history. The powerpoint with all of the resources is attached below and should be used to help plan and write the speeches assigned for homework. The powerpoint contains lots of ideas on speech writing techniques, the structure of a speech, what makes the I Have a Dream speech so powerful and effective, ideas on audience awareness, character creation and thoughts on the persuasive and literary devices that can be used in speeches to help corroborate the speaker’s point. Good work from the class today- they came up with some fantastic ‘Frankensteined’ speeches and thought carefully about the impact of I Have a Dream. I absolutely loved hearing the topics which they were all passionate about too! Well done everyone and see you next week 🙂

      Video we watched: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_IB0i6bJIjw&feature=emb_logo

      Homework

      Homework

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      • #27363
        Jeff
        Participant

        Hi Beth,

        Here’s my writing for lesson 6.

        Jeff

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        • #27395
          Beth
          Participant

          Hi Jeff,
          Fabulous work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #27313
      Claire
      Participant

      Dear Miss Beth

      Thanks for the nice teaching. Here is my homework.

      Many  thanks

      Xian

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      • #27397
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Claire,
        You’re welcome!
        Fantastic work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #27360
      Melody
      Participant

      To Beth

       

      Thank you for the lesson

       

      Melody

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      • #27399
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Melody,
        You’re welcome!
        Nice work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

        Attachments:
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    • #27373
      Yutong
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      here is my homework. Thank you,

      Yutong

      • #27379
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Yutong,
        There isn’t a document attached here- if you try to upload it again I can mark it ASAP 🙂

    • #27377

      Hi Beth,

      Below is my homework for the lesson on speech writing.

      Thank you,

      Jessie

      • #27378

        Good morning ladies and gentlemen, advisers and vice-ministers, Heads of Magical Departments and Mysteries, the Accidental Reversal Squads. Here standing in front of the Ministry, in front of Gringotts and onto the streets of Diagon Alley, I say to you that today is a magical day. A day of new hope and wizarding jokes. There have been dark times, no denying. Our magical world has perhaps faced no greater threat than it does today.

        So we need to face the future and brace ourselves against You-know-who and his deathly supporters who use dangerously powerful dark magic.

        Firstly, I thank my predecessor Rufus Scrimgeour for his devotion to the ministry and his presence here.

        I thank him greatly.

        Scrimgeour, who I spoke to last night but who cannot be with us today, we salute for his service with the Weasley way of conjuring fireworks – sparks out our dearly crafted wands.

        Over the centuries through torture and harassment, in peace and greatness.

        We have come so far. But we still have far to go.

        We will press forward with speed and urgency, for we have much to do in this wintry season of peril and dark days.

        Much to repair.

        Much to restore.

        Much to become.

        Under a steady watch on the community, Azakban will be secured, allowing no criminals to escape and break out.

        Safety and freedom will ring over every hill and magical hamlet, every busy city and those in the open country.

        Under a steady watch of the community, children will be able to have while learning, young toddlers on flying broomsticks will be no more, all into students with pride and dignity. Gringotts will be protected now more than any other time to stop guilty crimes and take them away into the mistakes of the past.

        Work will be set immediately and Aurors and any volunteers will be put to the test and into our Army to defend ourselves from the Dark Lord and our enemies.

        Together we will improve our Quidditch team and help them win the upcoming World Cup with intense practice every day.

        Portkeys and the Floo Network will not any longer be restricted but occasionally watched by an overseer.

        Together we can achieve incredible things.

        We will create a future that will way days after days thereafter with hope.

        Work starts tomorrow.

        Thank you.

         

         

         

         

         

         

         

        • #27401
          Beth
          Participant

          Hi Jessie,
          Brilliant work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

          Attachments:
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    • #27387
      Yutong
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      I just saw the message. Here is my homework,

      Yutong

    • #27388
      Yutong
      Participant

      Sorry,

      the attachment didn’t upload. Here is my homework.

    • #27389
      Yutong
      Participant

      A Speech

      I was once a child, a whole future ahead of me. I was excited. But, I at once experienced the pains of homework. I am sure many children agree that homework causes stress, takes away time with family, and, though some people think otherwise, homework does not even help with academics! Would you want to spend your days in your room, gazing longingly out the window at your friends houses, trying to catch a glimpse of someone friendly? Would you want to stay up late into the dead of the night, trying to finish your homework? No! You should be outdoors, playing with your family instead of being cooped up in your room. You should be having lunch at your friend’s house, instead of eating a dry sandwich while watching the video your teacher made you watch. Plus, studies show that 56% of the students say homework is a primary source of stress. Only 1% say homework is not a stressor. Our future depends on the children. If they choose well, we will prosper. If they don’t, it’s technically our fault. We did not raise them to experience the wonders of childhood. We pushed the weight of homework on them. Therefore, let us stop. Let us give the children a good education, and good memories. Let them become the people they want to be. Good people.

      • #27403
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Yutong,
        Thanks for uploading!
        Fantastic work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

        Attachments:
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    • #27416
      Beth
      Participant

      Summary for Lesson 7

      In this week’s lesson we looked at persuasive writing in the context of a newspaper article. The powerpoint with all of the resources is attached below, which should be used to help plan and write the persuasive articles assigned for homework. The powerpoint outlines the conventions, persuasive techniques and structure of persuasive articles, along with some more general information regarding P.E.E. paragraphs and how to write them, an awareness of audience and how to structure a newspaper article. It also includes a segment of persuasive article which can be used for inspiration and ideas on pathos, ethos and logos. The class worked beautifully today- thinking of loads of great ideas for how to write powerfully and coming up with some entertaining headlines. They grasped the notion of the Ancient Greek three-pronged persuasion approach (pathos, ethos, logos) and worked diligently throughout. Well done class- see you next week! 🙂

      Homework

      Homework

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      • #27474
        Jeff
        Participant

        Hi Beth,

        Here is my homework for week 7.

        Jeff

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        • #27511
          Beth
          Participant

          Hi Jeff,
          Brilliant work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

          Attachments:
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    • #27424
      Claire
      Participant

      Dear Beth

      Here is my homework for week7. Thanks for the nice teaching.

      Many thanks

      Claire

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      • #27513
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Claire,
        You’re very welcome!
        Gorgeous work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #27480

      Hi Beth,

      Here is my school newspaper which I have written. Thank you for the wonderful lesson and see you next lesson!

      Thanks,

      Jessie

      • #27481

        <p style=”text-align: center;”>Silverlake Secondary Academy</p>
        <p style=”text-align: center;”>No more Fast Food; time for Slow Good</p>
        <p style=”text-align: center;”>(Essay helps and tips included below, Neil Armstrong Biography attached inside)</p>
        <p style=”text-align: center;”>Written by reporter Jessie. N (sixth former)</p>
         
        <p style=”text-align: left;”>Now, may I ask, have you ever thought that you could rely on convenience food? Have you ever considered never cooking again? Have you ever bit into a juicy burger and dreamt of savouring all the flavours every day? Well, before you start to start to move all of your big dreams to the idea of having fast food daily, stop. STOP!</p>
        <p style=”text-align: left;”>
        After yesterday evening’s intense debate, PM Rishi Sunak has hereby announced that school children should consider healthier diets and reduce sugary and unhealthy intakes and snacks. “Children -aged 5-18- are now warned of the negative outcomes of convenience food. Those in favour of carrying on ways of unhealthy eating continue, but now we warn you and we warn you warm-heartedly.” As Silverlake Secondary, we  must do all we can to live up to healthy standards and ways. It is for our own benefit, our own precious bodies.</p>
        <p style=”text-align: left;”>
        Some individuals believe that we should eat convenience food as a treat for lunch to keep us happy and boost us during lesson time. However, behaviour will be out of control and rise over Silverlake’s expectations, or even worse, mental illness and brain function. This will affect learning greatly, making it hard to understand, concentrate and think. Moreover, eating these unhealthy meals can create nasty habits which are hard to get rid of and can often lead to being overweight and lazy. For instance, people have discovered that the more you eat, the more you want.</p>
        <p style=”text-align: left;”>Not only affecting learning, the mood will also change. I’m sure you don’t want to transform into a disgruntled, disrespectful student and earn yourself extra detention, am I right?</p>
        <p style=”text-align: left;”>Lastly, according to the National Centre for Health, statistics state that us Brits consume around a whopping 100 million fast food and takeaway meals every week, resulting in an “increased cancer risk”, a report has revealed. Furthermore, after great dedication, our fifth formers have collected enough information to say that more than 64% of our school eat convenience food at least twice a week. How shocking! Aren’t you aware of how much damage this is causing to our bodies? The NHS has exclaimed “From small problems (like a sore throat or a stomach ache) to large problems(such as diabetes, cancer, heart attack, cavities…) have risen due to the amount of people eating fast food nowadays.</p>
        <p style=”text-align: left;”> I hope that all of you listen and contemplate over the points that are covered in the newspaper and become a great change.</p>

        • #27482

          <p style=”text-align: center;”>Silverlake Secondary Academy</p>
          <p style=”text-align: center;”>No more Fast Food; time for Slow Good</p>
          <p style=”text-align: center;”>
          (Essay helps and tips included below,</p>
          <p style=”text-align: center;”>Neil Armstrong Biography attached inside)</p>
          <p style=”text-align: center;”>
          Written by reporter Jessie. N (sixth former)</p>
          <p style=”text-align: center;”>
          Now, may I ask, have you ever thought that you could rely on convenience food? Have you ever considered never cooking again? Have you ever bit into a juicy burger and dreamt of savouring all the flavours every day? Well, before you start to start to move all of your big dreams to the idea of having fast food daily, stop. STOP!</p>

          After yesterday evening’s intense debate, PM Rishi Sunak has hereby announced that school children should consider healthier diets and reduce sugary and unhealthy intakes and snacks. “Children -aged 5-18- are now warned of the negative outcomes of convenience food. Those in favour of carrying on ways of unhealthy eating continue, but now we warn you and we warn you warm-heartedly.” As Silverlake Secondary, we  must do all we can to live up to healthy standards and ways. It is for our own benefit, our own precious bodies.

          Some individuals believe that we should eat convenience food as a treat for lunch to keep us happy and boost us during lesson time. However, behaviour will be out of control and rise over Silverlake’s expectations, or even worse, mental illness and brain function. This will affect learning greatly, making it hard to understand, concentrate and think. Moreover, eating these unhealthy meals can create nasty habits which are hard to get rid of and can often lead to being overweight and lazy. For instance, people have discovered that the more you eat, the more you want.

          Not only affecting learning, the mood will also change. I’m sure you don’t want to transform into a disgruntled, disrespectful student and earn yourself extra detention, am I right?

          Lastly, according to the National Centre for Health, statistics state that us Brits consume around a whopping 100 million fast food and takeaway meals every week, resulting in an “increased cancer risk”, a report has revealed. Furthermore, after great dedication, our fifth formers have collected enough information to say that more than 64% of our school eat convenience food at least twice a week. How shocking! Aren’t you aware of how much damage this is causing to our bodies? The NHS has exclaimed “From small problems (like a sore throat or a stomach ache) to large problems(such as diabetes, cancer, heart attack, cavities…) have risen due to the amount of people eating fast food nowadays.

          I hope that all of you listen and contemplate over the points that are covered in the newspaper and become a great change.

          • #27515
            Beth
            Participant

            Hi Jessie,
            Stellar work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

            Attachments:
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    • #27487
      Yutong
      Participant

      <p>Hi Beth,</p><p>Here is my homework.</p><p>Thank you very much,</p><p>Yutong</p>

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    • #27490
      Yutong
      Participant

      Sorry,

      Something went wrong with the typing.

      Yutong

    • #27501
      Yutong
      Participant

      Sorry Beth,

      I uploaded the wrong text.

      You can look at it anyway, though.

      Here is my actual homework,

      Yutong

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      • #27517
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Yutong,
        No worries at all!
        Super work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #27526
      Beth
      Participant

      Summary for Lesson 8

      In today’s lesson we continued our work on creative writing, considering the idea of how to use inspiration from another writer’s style and language through a task requiring students to write the next scene for a story, mirroring their style, language and structure. We considered the concept of the semantic field of the story- the emotions, setting, atmosphere and langugae associated with it- and then applied this to the unique narrative voice of the protagonist in the story we were studying. We discussed the notion of idiomatic language and how it applies to writing something in a compelling character voice, and the students looked at some character work, imagining the story from another person’s perspective and then extrapolating this outwards to flesh the character out. The students thought about taking inspiration from other authors and spoke about the way in which they themselves used language. Great work everyone- well done! You all came up with some fantastic ideas on narrative voice and perspective and thought carefully about how to take inspiration from other writers. Have fun with the homework, well done for all your fab character inference, and see you next week 🙂

      Here is the story: https://www.schoolentrancetests.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/11-english-group-2-godolphin-latymer-2010.pdf

      Homework

      homwro

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      • #27565
        Angelikelly
        Participant

        <p style=”text-align: left;”>Hi Beth,</p>
        Here is my homework for this week.

        I sat in my room crying softly to my self, everything was just so complicated. Why did my dad have to just dump me and my annoying sister in this retched house? Grandpa was the worst though every day I had to listen to his none stop stupid blabbering.

        It was pouring heavily when afternoon arrived, I had just survived another stupid blabbering from grandpa and I had told him that I didn’t want to live with with him. The reason why I don’t like him is because when I was five he took away my gold amulet and never gave it back. I sat on my bed crying oblivious to the outside world.

        A few minutes passed by and I heard grandmother and grandpa yelling at each other whose fault it was because of the over cooked disgusting dinner.I wondered why I was even born into this world in the first place. Was it because it was to torture me? Or to make me suffer and heart broken?

         

         

        • #27645
          Beth
          Participant

          Hi Daniel,

          Amazing work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

          Attachments:
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      • #27606
        Jeff
        Participant

        Hi Beth,

        Here is my homework for week 8.

        Jeff

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        • #27648
          Beth
          Participant

          Hi Jeff,

          Charming work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #27566
      Angelikelly
      Participant

      Sorry about the typing.

    • #27567
      Angelikelly
      Participant

      Thank you for the lovely lesson!

      • #27647
        Beth
        Participant

        You’re very welcome! 😀

    • #27602
      Yutong
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      Here my homework.

      Thank you for the lesson,

      Yutong

      Attachments:
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      • #27650
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Yutong,

        You’re very welcome!

        Fabulous work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #27604
      Melody
      Participant

      To Beth

       

      thank you

      HERE is my homework

       

      melody

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      • #27652
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Melody,

        Gorgeous work this week , I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #27612
      Claire
      Participant

      Dear Beth

      Here is my homework for week 8.

      Many thanks

      Claire

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      • #27654
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Claire,

        Beautiful work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #27624
      Melody
      Participant

      Hi Beth

      Sorry I didn’t realise that my homework for week 7 wasn’t submitted successfully last week

      Here  is my homework for week 7

      When you have time please can you mark my homework for me?

      Thank you

      Melody

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      • #27656
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Melody,

        No worries at all!

        Wonderful work, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #27626
      Isabella
      Participant

      Sorry for the lateness Beth

       

      I was in my room crying. To be honest, I did want Grandpa to die in a field. And why did dad make us stay here with my twee little sister? She is such a pain. It’s bad enough here; listening to my prat grandad blabbering on about some useless junk twenty-four seven. I’d rather stay in an orphanage rather than here. If dad could send us here, he could send us anywhere.

       

      My room isn’t much help either. The wallpaper is a sick green colour and it’s peeling off. I have some toys and books here but I’m bored of all of them. Luckily, we aren’t staying here forever, it’s just until dad gets things sorted out.

      It’s pouring down with rain. Mum would have called it a night with a devil. She loved thunderstorms. The whole family would jump outside in the puddles. Everyone except me. I hate going outside in the cold and rain. In the summer maybe. Tonight isn’t going to be quiet.

       

      I’ve started crying again. Grandma’s shouting at me to help do the laundry for the second time today. Her voice is high and angry like it always is.

      • #27658
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Isabella,

        Wonderful work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #27628

      Dear Beth,

      Here is my homework for this week. Thank you for the lovely lesson.

      See you next lesson,

      Jessie

      • #27629

        Another “very great day” has passed. Fabulous. I just can’t express my emotions. I’m feeling frustrated, but annoyed and upset at the same time. You may call me strange but you can thank Molly as much as you like. My third day under a roof of weird, just unrelatable people is about to pass. Like always, Grandpa (a non-stop blabbering chatabox) and his words have struck again.He goes blabbering, and blabbering and blabbering almost for the whole ENTIRE DAY! I mean, who can stand that? What I am surprised about is that Grandma, who I always count her as sensible and understandable, has well..well betrayed me. Not exactly but after asking Grandpa to stop blabbering she said I was too over and should be grateful to have to talk too!

        Now -locked in a bedroom of boredom- I look around. My walls are a disgusting shade of vomit green. How did Uncle Matt cope with the disturbing colours? Cobwebs hang in the four corners of the room. My bed is too hard, it’s a solid rock. Why is no place a nice study room where I can read my encyclopaedias and do work? I don’t understand Molly, why bring a space-taking teddy when you can bring a dozen of informative, factual documentaries?

        I stare outside where the rain is spitting onto the streets below. I remember Mum’s voice, it echoes in my ears, causing me to listen to fearful realisation. I hear mum’s superstitious voice, “There’s a night with the devil in it.” Could it mean that the devil was back, seeking revenge, on my grandparents and Molly’s side? Did it mean that it was going to misfortune me? I picture days of monotonous lectures and tests at school, detention, low marks and Molly boasting, making fun of me. Surely that can’t happen, I can’t be the worst in the form, not when I am the very best!

        I’m not in a good mood. I just want to go inside my bed and pull this covers over me and read. Next door, I hear Molly rummaging in her room. Downstairs, now Grandma and Grandpa are now in frustrated moods. I think of tomorrow. Will things be any better?

        • #27660
          Beth
          Participant

          Hi Jessie,

          Brilliant work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

          Attachments:
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    • #27677
      Beth
      Participant

      Summary for Lesson 9

      In today’s lesson we looked at a new branch of creative writing following all of our work on prose, poetry and persuasive writing: playwriting (aka script writing). The powerpoint with all of the resources is attached below and should be used to help plan and write the short play-scripts assigned for homework. The powerpoint contains lots of ideas on the structure and features of a script, thoughts on stage directions, a glossary of dramatic terms, an extract from a Harold Pinter play which the class analysed and interpreted, and the play-writing prompts they need to include in their homework. Everyone worked beautifully together today, I really enjoyed hearing everyone’s imaginative and creative different interpretations of the Pinter playscript and their dramatic skills were fantastic. I was very impressed by their use of stage directions to frame the script within their own interpretation of the action, and thought the range and variety of interpretations they offered were fantastic. Lovely work everyone- well done and I’ll see you next week for our mini mock! 🙂

      Video we watched on playwriting: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3O_ISCHsaUw&t=77s

      Homework 

      Homework

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      • #27771
        Jeff
        Participant

        Hi Beth,

        Here’s my homework for lesson 9

        Jeff

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        • #27808
          Beth
          Participant

          Hi Jeff,

          nice work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #27679
      Angelikelly
      Participant

      Mom: How was your first day of secondary?

      Timmy(looking half dead): First day in secondary, first day in hell.

      Dad (anxious): It’s going to be all right. I’m sure it’s going to be all right.

      Timmy(bashing his head on the table): Why are you always so positive?

      Timmy(exasperated): Why is everything so positive?

      Dad: Everything is difficult, we just need to find a way around it.

      Mum(calm): I agree.

       

       

       

      • #27810
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Daniel,

        Some good work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #27680
      Angelikelly
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      Thank you for today’s lesson!

      Here’s my homework for today.

       

    • #27683
      Claire
      Participant

      Dear Beth

      Thanks for the nice teaching.

      Here is my homework for week 9.

      Many thanks

      Claire

      Attachments:
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      • #27814
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Claire,

        Fab work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #27765
      Melody
      Participant

      Hi Beth

      Thank you for the lesson

      Here is my homework

      Its my birthday on Saturday🥳

      Melody

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      • #27816
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Melody,

        Happy birthday for Saturday, that’s so exciting!

        Super work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #27769

      Hi Beth,

      Here is my homework. I did the last writing prompt.

      Can’t wait for the mini mock,

      Jessie

      • #27770

        <p style=”text-align: center;”>SCENE 5:</p>
        <p style=”text-align: center;”>Joanne’s First Day at Secondary School</p>
        <p style=”text-align: center;”>
        REMEMBER JOANNE IS DISGUISED AS ALICE</p>

        Joanne/Alice: Susan Blake

        June: Hannah Lee

        Felicity: Caron Gold

        Background Voices: Backup Squad

        Miss Peters: Georgia Lake

        Amanda: Natalie Blake

        (At the train station and the train to boarding school Emerald Towers is about to depart. Girls hurry past with trunks, grown- ups wishing their best of luck. It is a cacophony of noise. Joanne is walking with Head of the Fifth Form -Miss Peters.)

        Miss Peters: (in her usual strict tone) This is Alice Johnson, our new girl. Alice, this is June, a girl in your form. She will escort you to your compartment and will find many other girls.

        June: (staring intensely at Alice/Joanne) Have I met you somewhere before? There’s something familiar about you. Perhaps you remind me of someone though I can’t for the life of me think who it is at the moment.

        Alice: (talking a bit too soon) We have never met before, I have only seen you for the first time just now.

        (The two girls walk to the train, trunks in hand. They get in and find Susan, Felicity and the others staring at the two.)

        Alice: (Falling into mud) Ouch, my arm.

        Background girls: (in a mocking tone and with a fitful of giggles  ) Haha, new girl is dumped. Eugh do you see the mud all over her? Disgusting.

        Felicity: (trying to be pleasant to Joanne) Have I ever seen you before, Alice? Perhaps you have a cousin or sister at Emerald Towers?

        Susan: There is something similar in the way you look, I’m sure I know you.

        Alice: (Once again uncomfortable at the familiarisation by the girls) No, I don’t think so. I’m an only child but I can’t wait to be at Emerald Towers!

        June: (Trying to sound her usual dramatic way) One thing Alice, watch out for mischievous first year Daffy. She is always playing tricks on the mistresses and even us! But when she goes too far, there are a few… surprises in store. Always check your pencil cases, make sure nothing has disappeared, check on your chair often-make sure she hasn’t put a farting pillow on it!

        Susan: Oh don’t you worry Alice, as always, June is over exaggerating things just to scare you out of your shell! Don’t take it into account, it’s just one of her jokes she says to new-comers.

        (The girls talk about the things they did in the holidays and tell Joanne/Alice everything about Emerald Towers. Finally they arrive and the evening has come – change the background to sunset theme. )

        Alice: (after bashing into fierce Amanda) Sorry, I’m just very tired. Sorry June.

        Amanda: ( in her usual fierce tone then stalking off) June? I am most definitely not June. That rascal, now get yourself to your tower, you will eat there. Who has ever bashed me? You can win a prize for being the clumsiest girl in history!

        Alice: (finally having time by herself as others prepare to go to opening term dinner) Ok, ok, ok Joanne. You’re back at Emerald Towers, your previous school, and now one is going to know that you used to be expelled. I must act sensible so the others won’t recognise you, especially June, Felicity and Susan. I can’t let mother and father down. Why is the first day of school, the first day of hell? That daffy, then the giggling girls, then Amanda, what next?

        (In the end Joanne/Alice falls asleep on her bed and is then woken up for dinner.)

         

         

         

         

      • #27818
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Jessie,

        Amazing work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #27773
      Yutong
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      Here is my homework for this week.

      See you soon,

      Yutong

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      • #27820
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Yutong,

        Stellar work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #27795
      Isabella
      Participant

      Scene 6

      Toby – Ali Palam

      Shine – Anna Watkings

      Holly – Aoife Wilkie

      Max – Charlie Carol

      Teddie – Ben Ramford

       

      Toby: (angry and shouting) What is this?

      Max: (looking at the pool of slime all over the carpet) I don’t know. I SERIOUSLY DON’T KNOW

      (in the background Shine and Holly laugh)

      Toby: (staring at his son Max) You’re in big trouble young man. I’m watching you.

       

      Holly and Shine enter

       

      Max: (staring at them with disgust) It was you wasn’t it. You were the one who poured slime all over Mum and Dad’s bedroom floor so I would take the blame!

      Girls burst into fits of laughter

      Seriously?

      Holly: You finally noticed?

      Max: Why did you do it in the first place?

      Shine: Mainly because you cheated in the annual best child competition to beat us so we want to get revenge.

      Max: Like I’ve said for the one millionth time I did not cheat. I just got lucky when Teddie (pause) eeeeeeeer; gave me a little boost.

      Max storms off the stage with Holly and Shine behind him

       

      Scene 7

       

      Max is hiding behind the sink

      Teddie comes on stage

      Teddie: (confused and looking at Max) what are you doing there? Did you get pranked again?

      Max: (muttering quietly) No, seriously it’s nothing

      • #27822
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Isabella,

        Some lovely work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #27796
      Isabella
      Participant

      Whoops, the line where Teddie says what are you doing there is suppose to be why are you hiding in the bathroom.

      • #27824
        Beth
        Participant

        All good, I changed the line within your original document for you 😀

    • #27830
      Beth
      Participant

      Summary for Lesson 10

      In today’s lesson we completed our writing mock exam, spending the first ten minutes of the lesson to quickly revise the core components of the previous lessons and for the students to ask for advice or clarification on anything we’ve studied thus far. The class then spent thirty minutes completing a writing prompt of their choice, before spending a final seven minutes on a piece of poetry. They then self-evaluated their work beautifully, thinking about what went wells and even better ifs and then thinking more deeply about whether they had included all the necessary elements such as language techniques and advanced vocab. Excellent work today class- you all worked really diligently today, and I look forward to reading your exams. Really well done everyone, have a lovely restful holiday period and I will see you all soon. Congratulations! 🙂

      Homework

      Homework

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      • #27957
        Jeff
        Participant

        Hi Beth,

        Here is my mock exam work.

        Jeff

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        • #27999
          Beth
          Participant

          Hi Jeff,

          Nice work on your mock, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #27832
      Melody
      Participant

      Beth

      here is my homework

      Merry Christmas🎄

      Melody

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      • #28001
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Melody,

        Merry Christmas to you too!

        Some good work on your mock, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #27834
      Yutong
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      It has been wonderful learning with you.

      Here is my “exam”.

      Thank you so much,

      Yutong

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      • #28003
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Yutong,

        I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed the lessons!

        Gorgeous work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #27836

      Dear Beth,

      Here is my mock exam work. Thank you so much for the course and everything. I have learnt a lot about different genres and styles of writing. I really appreciate everything and the clearness of each lesson.

      Merry Christmas,

      Jessie

      • #27837

        Locked- Lyra is in Danger

        BASED ON PHILIP PULLMAN’S NORTHERN LIGHTS

        Lyra: Emilia Rose

        Mrs Coulter: Grace Shallcross

        Nurse: Hailey Leung

        Lyra: (shouting at the top of her voice) I know what you’re doing, You’re going to put me in a.. An uncomfortable cabinet that will kill me and separate Pan from me. You can’t, you’re working for the Oblation Board, the Magisterium!

        Nurse: (uncomfortable at this thought) No… no your silly girl this procedure is just to weigh your daemon and see if you are clean…

        Lyra: (shaking and moving restlessly) from Dust I know, you end up killing all of us, everyone knows that!

        (In the end, Lyra is locked in a tiny room, only half a metre by half metre. Lyra is banging on the wall which is wooden and spikes are on all sides of the room, ready to crush the girl. The room has a window and Lyra can see her daemon Pan in a box with holes. The room starts to shack and the spikes  are growing longer, a few centimetres away from her body.)

        Lyra: STOP! STOP! Have you heard of child abuse? This is way over-the-top. I’ll call the police, when I am free, I just know it will be the first thing I’ll do.

        (Door opened and Mrs Coulter, the alluring dark-haired woman enters, her equally malicious monkey perched on her shoulder)

        Mrs Coulter: (in a formal, pleased tone) I see you have the job going on perfectly Sister Clara, you will receive half a farthing more as a pay rise. Who is in our little beautiful killer at the moment?

        Nurse: (in a contented voice) Well, Madam, it is Lizzie Brooks, the weak little girl with hazel eyes and short, curly hair.

        Lyra: ( Bumping the wall with her back) Little am I, weak am I? I’ll get you back!

        Mrs Coulter: Seems like you are doing well, I hear shouts of pain in there, blood is pouring from her knee! I shall like to sit in there and

        Lyra: (Desperate) OUCH! My leg! AHH! My arm! Mother, mother! Save me! HELP!

        Mrs Coulter: (puzzled) Lyra? Is that you? Clara, stop the killer. Now! There’s a child in it!

        (Nurse Sister Clara inactives the the killer -room they say to children- and Lyra is pushed out of the room with Mrs Coulter behind her. THey sit down on wooden chairs and Lyra is terribly wounded)

        Mrs Coulter:(in her usual sly, persuasive voice) Oh Lyra, how did you come here? Oh stay with me we can..

        Lyra: (annoyed and fed up with Mrs COulter) torture other kids and ripp them away from their parents. No thanks Oblation Board.

        (Lyra stands up and is about to leave the room. She releases it is somehow locked)

        Mrs Coulter; Don’t worry darling, you’re locked up in a toasty, warm room with me to look after. Now lets..

        Lyra (muttering): Try to find a way out of here and away from this wretched woman.

         

        Second Task:

        I like how in the second poem it is somehow humourous through the creepy scene. How childminder one and two look so different but are equally mean and how they offer the narrator to play with boring, broken toys and how the poet describes the child in the corner as a skeletal child.

         

      • #28005
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Jessie,

        I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed our lessons and learned so much! Merry Christmas to you too 🎄

        Brilliant work on your mock, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #27838
      Claire
      Participant

      Dear Beth

      Here are my answers for Week 10’s test.

      Thank you for the brilliant teaching.

      Hope to see you soon.

      Many thanks

      Claire

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      • #28008
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Claire,

        You’re very welcome!

        Wonderful work on your mock, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #27888
      Isabella
      Participant

      The Locked Room

      Lyra – Holly Watkings
      Roger – Ollie Stack
      Lord Asriel – Amelia Carol

      Remember, people are annoyed because they got locked inside a room while there is a party going on

      Scene 1

      LYRA: Uggh, I can’t believe that you got us locked us in here.
      ROGER: (with disgust) It’s not my fault Max’s hand ‘accidentally slipped’.
      LORD ASRIEL: It’s not MY fault that somebody shoved me so I dropped the key under the door. (glares at Austin)

      (Roger and Asriel start fighting and start to wrestle each other. Anna walks in between them and glares at them.)

      LYRA: Stop, stop STOP! Fighting isn’t going to help us. In fact, It’s going t make things worse.

      (Roger glares at Asriel one more time.)

      LORD ASRIEL: (Stomping) How can it make things worse? It can’t get more worse then it is now. We are locked inside a room with hardly nothing inside it and we’re missing out on a birthday party!
      LYRA: You can be glad that we are not locked inside the cupboard under the stairs, in the cat litter room, in the bathroom, in the basement or in th-
      ROGER: (screaming and shouting at Anna, cutting in the middle of her sentence) OK! Just stop!

       

      Scene 2

      LYRA: You’re also glad that this is the escape room of the house. There is a spare key somewhere here and we could find it then, FREEDOM! (Lyra starts dancing across the room)(pause) Even better, there are a trail of clues to find it. I’m the best at clues.

      (Asreil and Roger laugh at Lyra)

      ROGER: A escape room with a spare key in it? I have never heard something more ridicules.
      ASRIEL: Also, I think we can all agree that I’m the best at solving clues

      (Roger and Lord Asriel start laughing again.)

      LYRA:(rolls her eyes) Looks like that I’m the only one searching for the key and getting out in 5 minutes then.
      ROGER AND ASREIL:(together) I’m in!

      Scene 3

      ASRIEL: (Still recovering from giggling) So, if we want to escape this so called escape room, where do we start looking?
      LYRA:(laughs) Start searching everywhere!
      ROGER: Seriously. What do you mean by looking everywhere? Do you mean like locking everywhere? (lifts the flower vase) Like under there!
      LYRA:(giggles) Of course! Look EVERYWHERE!
      (Children go on a mad scrabble to try and find a clue)

       

      _____________________________________________________________

       

      I’m something! What are you?

      I’m a something. Who are you?
      Are you something or… are you someone?
      Wait… your my pair!
      Pleeeaaassse don’t tell. They’ll post it on Tic Toc, Facebook and Instagram galore!

      How miserable it must be to be nobody.
      No one knows you, no one knows where you are and nobody can see you.
      I can even tell if you even exist
      I can’t imagine having no name or living in a bog!

       

      • #28010
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Isabella,

        Beautiful work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 🙂

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    • #27959
      ChrisW
      Participant

      Hello my Homework

       

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      • #28014
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Chris,

        Beautiful work, but you’ve posted this in the wrong forum- this is the writing class! I’ve attached your feedback below, but make sure to check next time 🙂

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