11+Writing-Thur

Forums 2024 Summer Courses 11+Writing-Thur

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    • #42021
      VMWEdu
      Keymaster
    • #42150
      hazel
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      My homework is attached below. Sorry I didn’t come to the lesson, I got the timings wrong😑. The replay was nice to watch- it was a fun lesson! See you next week😁!

      Kind Regards,

      Hazel

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    • #42154
      Beth
      Participant

      Summary for Lesson 1

      In today’s class we began our discussion of 11+ creative writing, thinking about how to use prompts in the exam. We began with an overview of key tips before digging into some literary technique work, discussing which techniques the class preferred and applying this to a picture prompt. We spoke about the importance of high-level vocab and deciding how much of a character’s story you can tell in the time allowed and the class created some group work giving backstories to characters from a picture prompt. Lastly we looked at metaphor work, playing around with ideas on how to keep things original. Amazing work everyone, well done and see you next week 🙂

      Video on the 11+ we watched: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jxo0BJXoFM8

      Homework

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      • #42164
        imposter tze
        Participant

        Hi Beth – Do you have the slides /10 with the images for homework?

        Thanks, Tze

      • #42261
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi everyone, Tze brought it to my attention that the slides didn’t upload, so I’ve attached them below. No worries if you’ve already done your homework, sorry about that! 🌟

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    • #42183
      EdwardLi
      Participant

      Hi Beth

      Thanks for the lesson and please find my homework attached.

      Lucas Li

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      • #42310
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Lucas,

        Nice work on this, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42203
      shuxuan
      Participant

      Hi, Beth, this is tengyi’s homework , thank you so much

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      • #42312
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Tengyi,

        Amazing work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42205
      Felix
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      Thanks for the lesson.

      My homework is attached.

      Felix

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      • #42314
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Felix,

        Beautiful work on this, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42228
      hazel
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      The one that I first posted was blank😐, but this one should work. See you next week!

      Kind regards,

      Hazel

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      • #42316
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Hazel,

        Thanks for re-uploading!

        Gorgeous work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42318
      imposter tze
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      Tze’s homework for this week.

      Thanks.

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      • #42331
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Tze,

        Dazzling work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42325
      Ethan
      Participant

      Dear Beth

      sorry i wasn’t there for the lesson

      if i had to, it would be 1 am

       

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      • #42508
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Ethan,

        No worries at all!

        Great work, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42327
      Shangchen
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      Here is my homework attached.

      Thank for the lesson!😀

      Shangchen

       

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      • #42510
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Shangchen,

        Excellent work on this, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42334
      Beth
      Participant

      Summary for Lesson 2

      In class today we began work on persuasive writing, thinking about how to use various different forms of persuasion on a reader and how to work this into the exam context. We spoke about where to start with a persuasive writing prompt in an exam, thinking about three key pointers such as coming up with a thesis statement, not sitting on the fence unless specifically told to by the question, and using different types of evidence to back up your ideas. We watched a video that introduced Aristotle’s theory of rhetoric and spoke about the importance of logos, ethos and pathos in building a strong argument. We learned about the five-paragraph essay structure the class should endeavour to use, and the class then used this to write ‘speed thesis statements’ on a number of topics. The class wrote well-crafted and powerful responses to these prompts that I was very impressed by today. Well done everyone, keep up the great work and see you next week 🙂

      Video on persuasion that we watched: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2dEuMFR8kw

      Homework

      hwmrk

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    • #42352
      Ethan
      Participant

      Dear Beth

      I spent like 40 mins instead. ^”_”^

       

       

       

       

       

       

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      • #42516
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Ethan,

        That’s okay, timing these things perfectly comes with practice!

        Good work, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42354
      Ethan
      Participant

      Hi Beth

      I spent like 40 mins instead. ^”_”^

       

       

       

       

       

       

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    • #42358
      Felix
      Participant

      Hi Beth

      Thank you for the lesson

      My homework is attached. Written in 30 mins.

       

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      • #42518
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Felix,

        You’re welcome!

        Nice work on this, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42363
      SophiaG
      Participant

      Hi, this is my work

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      • #42520
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Sophia,

        Good work this week, your feedback is attached. See you soon 😀

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    • #42383
      imposter tze
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      This is for Tze’s.

      Thanks.

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      • #42523
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Tze,

        Fantastic work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42416
      shuxuan
      Participant

      Hi,Beth,this is tengyi’s homework, thank you so much

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      • #42525
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Tengyi,

        A good start this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42421
      EmilyH
      Participant

      Most of the time, animals are being used as entertainment for us humans to enjoy, but have you ever thought of what the animals are thinking about this? They have been used in circuses to zoos, they have been used for horse riding and other entertainment. But this subject was argued as animal abuse and a inhuman way to use animals.

      Like in the circus, lions, bears and other exotic animals are used for entertainment like jumping through fire rings or something dangerous. Plus, they’re usually trained harshly and brutally when they’re doing these activities sometimes not even feeding them water or food as a punishment. They’re trapped in a confined box to rest and sleep in, which must be pretty uncomfortable as they used to be sleeping on the soft grass if the wilderness. Keeping the, confined from the wildlife harms their mentality, as the more social animals might feel left out or become depressed.
      Some animals might not be used to the new environment they’re brung to. So it is very important to not use animals for entertainment.
      So let us keep animals safe in the wild and refrain yourselves from using them as a plaything, a toy just for amusement.

      • #42527
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Emily,

        Superb work on this, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42471
      hazel
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      Thanks for the fantastic lesson like always. Fingers crossed this one isn’t blank or only a part of my writing. Just in case, the writing should be composed of 3 paragraphs. See you next lesson🙂!

      Hazel

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      • #42529
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Hazel,

        Yes it’s all there!

        Great work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42512
      Shangchen
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      Here is my homework attached.

      Thanks for the great lesson!😀

      Shangchen

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      • #42531
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Shangchen,

        Fabulous work on this, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42539
      Beth
      Participant

      Summary for Lesson 3

      In today’s class we looked at continuing a story, beginning with how to write with another author’s characters. We then spoke about character development, thinking about why it is so important in this 11+ question type, before looking at three interesting character descriptions. The class continued those stories really well, digging into who the characters were and why they thought that before we finished up with some top tips on how not to answer these types of questions. Lovely work everyone, I really enjoyed hearing your analyses of the different characters we studied today and their personalities. Well done and see you next week 🙂

      Character video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqKxLx3As28

      Continue a story video (watch the rest to help with homework): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCLlg1U7yf4

      Homework

      hmwrk

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    • #42543
      hazel
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      Thank you for the amazing lesson! Have a good week!

      Hazel

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      • #42653
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Hazel,

        You’re so welcome!

        Fabulous work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42547
      imposter tze
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      Attached is Tze’s continue the story homework.

      Thanks.

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      • #42655
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Tze,

        Incredible work on this, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42556
      SophiaG
      Participant

      Hi,

      this is Sophia’s work.

      thanks

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      • #42659
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Sophia,

        Lovely work on this, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42561
      EmilyH
      Participant

      Everyday she sat alone by the upstairs window humming that same tune she had sung 10 years ago.. She sat there in her ex-house every day and night singing that ghostly melody. She watched the seasons turn Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter, she watched how the years passed. But, her memory was just like it was reset every morning as she continued to hum this same melody from ten years ago. Her home was dark and abandoned, she never thought that anyone else would set foot to this place again but one day..

      CHING! Mary stoped humming and started to listen. “Wow what the, what is this!” Said an unknown voice. “Shhhhhh, I think it’s an abandoned building!” Said voice no.2.

      Mary slowly stood up and went downstairs to greet her dear guests. When she arrived, she went behind both of the two people.  “What brings you here, dear?” Her majestic voice filled the room.  The two people turned around to see who had come there path. “You two shouldn’t be roaming around here, it’s dangerous!” Mary said.
      “I shall guide your way through this house my dear guests!” As she led them towards the door that goes to the kitchen.
      Suddenly, the two people collapsed on the floor and was never seen again..

      That is the story of the urban legend: The singing girl.

      • #42661
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Emily,

        Fab work on this, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42564
      Felix
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      Thanks for the lesson.

      My homework is attached.

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      • #42663
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Felix,

        You’re welcome!

        Super work on this, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42572
      Ethan
      Participant

      Great lesson, just as I said it would be last week.

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      • #42665
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Ethan,

        I’m glad you thought so!
        Great work on this, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42576
      EdwardLi
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      Sorry this is my homework from week 2 thanks for the amazing lesson.

      Lucas

    • #42577
      EdwardLi
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      sorry I forgot to attach the file here it is my week 2 homework.

      Lucas

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      • #42687
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Lucas,

        Fab work, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42593
      shuxuan
      Participant

      hi, Beth,this is tengyi’s homework, thank you

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      • #42669
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Tengyi,

        Super work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42667
      Shangchen
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      Here is my homework attached.

      Thanks for the lesson!

      Shangchen

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      • #42689
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Shangchen,

        Stunning work on this, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42739
      Yangyang
      Participant

      Dear Beth! The homework has been completed by me.

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    • #42748
      Beth
      Participant

      Summary for Lesson 4

      In today’s class we completed work on persuasive writing, thinking today about persuasive techniques and speed planning arguments. We began by discussing several key persuasive devices and tested them out before thinking about ethos, pathos and logos and applying this to some fun prompts. The class had an amazing flash debate on searching for alien life which they did beautifully and we then had a mini Q&A. Incredible work today everyone I was so impressed by the creativity and passion in your arguments. Really great ideas, keep it up and see you next week 🙂

      Video from today: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkUB-ef6Oa4

      Homework

      wrhmk

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    • #42762
      EmilyH
      Participant

      I am Anna Jones, a teacher of the Core secondary school. I am here to say that the average age for voting should be lowered down to thirteen. As I have my experiences with kids, some may say that those children are too young to understand the complexity of voting but I disagree. 80% of the children may seem troublesome and silly sometimes but deep down they have a very strong opinion on things that even us adults can’t think about.  We should listen to everyone’s voices as they might’ve had been through that we haven’t, even if they’re children, most adults just think that children can’t have proper ideas, but that’s false. Plus, right now most teenager’s voices aren’t heard, so lowering the voting age would give them an opportunity to participate and take part in the politics.
      It would allow teenagers to say important issues that they have that includes education and healthcare. I would you rather a poor child that has a lot of stress to not speak out, or to speak out to everyone?
      Lastly, if we lowered the voting age we would be able to listen to more people’s voices and that’ll make us a better community!

      • #42857
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Emily,

        Fantastic work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42763
      Shangchen
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      Here is my homework.

      Thank you for the fantastic lesson!😁

      Shangchen

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      • #42859
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Shangchen,

        You’re welcome!
        Terrific work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42767
      shuxuan
      Participant

      Hi, Beth, this is tengyi ‘s homework, thank you so much

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      • #42861
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Tengyi,

        A good start this week,  I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42769
      imposter tze
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      Please find attached Tze’s homework.

      Thanks.

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      • #42863
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Tze,

        Fantastic work this week,  I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42783
      hazel
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      My homework is attached below. Thanks for the great lesson!🙂

      Hazel

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      • #42865
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Hazel,

        You’re very welcome!
        Marvellous work this week, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42820
      Ethan
      Participant

      Dear Beth

      this is my homework for this week

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      • #42869
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Ethan,

        Nice work this week, I’ve attached  your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42837
      SophiaG
      Participant

      Dear Sir/Madam,

      I am writing this letter to inform you about my concerns regarding your business. While I understand that your clients can enjoy high fashion in affordable prices l, there are some pitfalls I am going to go through.
      First of all, fast fashion involves children working in unsafe conditions and paid very little. However, children should be at school and not in a factory working.

      Another thing I wanted to talk about is the environmental issue the fast fashion enterprise creates. 60% of the plastic in land fields and oceans are formed by the millions of tonnes of clothes thrown just because they are out of style. Not only is this polluting our planet, but will take also years to decompose as plastic and synthetic materials such as polyester are not biodegradable.
      In conclusion, I believe that fast fashion is not beneficial for the planet and the people who work to make the clothes. I hope that you will take my concerns seriously and make changes to become more ethical and sustainable as a company. These little changes will form a better world.

      Sincerely,

      Sophia

      • #42871
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Sophia,

        Great work on this, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42881
      Beth
      Participant

      Summary for Lesson 5

      In today’s class we did a writing workshop, thinking about reflecting on all we have learned. The class wrote some great pieces based on some key pieces of writing advice and then workshopped these together in pairs, reflecting on how they felt about the 11+ and thinking about the different genres involved. We thought about the four types of writing we have studied, the class self-evaluated and finally, they came up with their own versions of 11+ writing prompts. Amazing work class, well done & good luck with the revision. I will see you next week! 🙂

      Homework video to finish: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N70D6xP0aQo

      Homework

      hmkwr

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    • #42985
      Beth
      Participant

      Summary for Lesson 6

      In today’s class the students completed their course, finishing a mock 11+ writing exam in the lesson. Incredible work today everyone, well done for your focus and dedication. I can’t wait to read what you have written! You have all been wonderful to work with over the summer holidays and I have been so impressed by your ideas & writing. Keep up the amazing work, you are all sparky, talented people and should be very proud of everything you’ve achieved. See you in the next course- well done 🙂

      Homework

      hmwrk

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      • #43034
        hazel
        Participant

        Hi Beth,

        Sorry that I forgot to submit my mock writing. Just attached it below. Hope you could mark it. Sorry for that.

        Hazel

    • #42987
      Ethan
      Participant

      Dear Beth,

      Thanks for all the classes you taught this summer.

      Thank you!

      Ethan

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      • #43013
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Ethan,

        You’re so welcome!

        Fab work on your mock, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42989
      EmilyH
      Participant

      The Discovery…

      “It’s almost out!” The surgeon said cutting open the last layer of tissue. “Pass me the-“ He stopped in his tracks as his eyes widened to what was behind that layer. Then he collapsed onto the ground. Anna, who was passing him the tool, ran over to him and knelt down trying to figure out what happened. Then, she collapsed as well.

      Jacob, who was just staring at the ceiling ran near the corpses to investigate but not too close in case he gets infected as well. There was a green, furry thing on both of the bodies, engulfing them as Jacob moved his attention towards the patient lying on the bed. He saw the creature, a complete abomination, it seemed like it was eating away at the unconscious body of that poor woman as it was covering the body with its green fur and pitch black tentacles. He didn’t know what to do, the first thing that came to his mind was to abandon this place and run away but he couldn’t do that right? It would be too cruel. “DANIEL! TELL THE OTHERS TO EVACUATE FROM THIS PLACE! Jacob shouted. The floor was soon completely infested by the smell and fur of that monster, what did that poor woman do to have a baby like this? As the people ran Jacob started to follow them, pulling his mask over his face even more as he seen more and more corpses on the floor, some were covered with the infection and some must’ve inhaled the scent of the infested places as the have huge marks of purple and green on their skin.

      He tried not to even breath as he swiftly escaped the surgery room, heading towards the screams of patients and doctors who had been trapped or left behind. The infestation spread fast as it had also reached the main hall, Jacob scanned the room for any possible signs of alive humans. He grabbed and pulled each of the remaining survivors out evacuating them from this place. Suddenly he turned around to see… “A-Anna?”he exclaimed seeing her collapsed on the floor with her eyes open, her lower body covered in blood. “I e-escaped the f-fur coat…” she whispered weakly. Jacob thought about rescuing her but suddenly he saw that there was something… wrong. She seemed different… He suddenly took a knife and defended himself as the body of Anna launched towards him. He realized what he has to do. Kill her. His closed his eyes and launched his body towards her as he stabbed the victim thirty six times in the chest. When he opened his eyes, he was full of regret. The body of the mind controlled girl laid in front of him, with no trace of movement. What has he done? Was he a murderer now?…  He stood up and walked towards the entrance of the hospital then suddenly… his eyes closed. It was too late.

      • #43015
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Emily.

        Great work on your mock, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42990
      EdwardLi
      Participant

      Dear Beth

      Please find my answer attached. Thank you.
      Lucas

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      • #43017
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Lucas,

        Good work on your mock, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42992
      Felix
      Participant

      Dear Beth,

      Thanks for your lessons. Please see my mock writing attached.

      Felix

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      • #43019
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Felix,

        You’re welcome!
        Gorgeous work on your mock, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42994
      imposter tze
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      Please find attached the mock test for Tze.

      Thanks.

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      • #43021
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Tze,

        Incredible work on your mock, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #42996
      Shangchen
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      Here is my Mock test.

      Thank you for the fantastic lessons!

      Shangchen

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      • #43023
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Shangchen,

        You’re very welcome!
        Excellent work on your mock, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #43000
      SophiaG
      Participant

      When I was young, my father had found a new world and by new world I definitely don’t mean that he ventured to planet Mars. No, he would never do something so ordinary. Instead, he discovered a new source of life! But let me start from the beginning.

       

      My father was an explorer and he took me on every single expedition with him. His colleagues thought that is was redicoulous and mad to take a minor to their long and laborious travels. However, I proved them wrong. I had a knack for exploring, I even carried with me a map, a telescope and a notebook at all times. I even vividly remember snuggling my compass tightly while I was sleeping. Anyway, let me tell you how my dad discovered a new land and how his teammates tried to shamelessly take credit for it. But they failed…

       

      We were flying thousands of feet in the air. It was a warm afternoon and the sky was rosy pink. I was getting ready for my nap when suddenly my dad ran out and called out “Men! Come here at once! I have made a discovery of a lifetime ..” Everyone sped over and my dad let them peer through his binoculars. Everyone oohed and ahhed at the spectacular sight my dad had supposedly found. After that scene, we air-sailed through hundreds of little stars.

       

      It took several hours to land. The planet was grey and cold, giant slabs of stone and mud engulfed the area. It was misty and no life to be seen. We wandered off into a rocky, drafty area which we explored but still came out with nothing. We had searched under every rock and crevice until I caught a glimpse of a translucent, glimmering stone. I picked it up cautiously and underneath was something that stopped our breath – a growing fern!

      As we landed back to earth a titanic crowd bombarded us with innumerous  questions. My father told them that he would name the planet “Zoe” which means life in Greek. However, not all was smooth going. His colleagues wanted all the glory for themselves. They pretended that the discovery was entirely theirs. They appeared on the national television and boasted “yes, yes, Zoe is our discovery”.  It was hilarious!

      • #43025
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Sophia,

        Amazing work on this mock, I’ve attached your feedback below. See you soon 😀

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    • #43029
      hazel
      Participant

      Hi Beth,

      Thank you for the final lesson! I really enjoyed the course.

      Hazel

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      • #43066
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Hazel, I have just seen this & the comprehension post. Will get that marked for you in the next day or two. Have a lovely weekend & so happy to hear you enjoyed the course! 🙂

      • #43104
        Beth
        Participant

        Hi Hazel,

        Your feedback is attached below! Fantastic work on this mock, a great end to the course 😀

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